Cold and Alone?
by AndreaAtlyss
Summary: Chummy's past present and future, all falling into line. Her heart breaks, and only one can mend the damage that has been done. Please R&R if you have time.
1. Chapter 1

Here stands a young girl dressed in dresses, bows, and the shade of pink shoved down her throat. This young seven year old couldn't play with the other kids, for fear of ruining her shoes. She couldn't sit on the floor, eat without a napkin on her lap, or be constantly paraded to everyone and anyone. She just wanted to be normal. She was dressed in the finest silks, and cottons and her shoes were shined to perfection, always.

If she moved, or even took the very tip of her toe to itch the very top of her thigh her mother would see, and she knew an argument would have ensued. So, she stood there in the pretty dress and bows that was forced upon her just biting the bottom of her lip hoping on hope that her mother would glance away so she could scratch that very itchy spot right under her knee. "Mother my leg is itchy." The girl pleaded, her tone was scarce. "A royal never scratches, it's unlady like.

By the age of eight she was taught lessons in a boarding school thousands of miles from her family. She had piano and violin everyday, and debutante training. She was forced to sit proper and talk in the correct speech.

By the age of twelve she was made to wear dresses below the knees and gloves if outside or around people and what to wear when. Polo Matches she was permitted to wear flat shoes, as she would be treading in the divots and kitten heels would sink in.

The Royal Ascot she would wear gloves, black heels, a dress that covered her shoulders and a hat was always permitted and never taken off.

By the age of thirteen she had to go high tea and dance lessons, her height now was pushing six foot and she was often teased. Her complexion was treated and kept everyday by one of the board mistresses. Her hair was long, thick and very heavy, it was kept in a french braid most days with a mesh hat and pin.

By the age of seventeen she had finished boarding school and moved back home, she was watched like a hawk and paraded around by her mother to all the men ready for a wife.

She sat on a tailors pedestal for hours each week for fittings, and even a wedding gown was made when Sir. Braxton asked for her hand in marriage. Shortly after the engagement Sir. Braxton was killed in a Polo accident and the wedding was no more. After the funeral she was alone and refused every man that Mater chose for her. She spent a year after at a seamstress school Ireland and learned everything about tailoring, haberdashery and pattern making.

By nineteen she decided to pursue nursing, the ability to help people enthralled her, and one day she dreamed to be a missionary and nurse. She was sent to The Royal London Hospital to be called in each day. But only three months in training and had to take leave for Pater's Knighting. She was fitted for a floor length ball gown that had to be custom made, because her height of six foot one inch. Her royal red hat matched all the other ladies, and she was sat at the high table next to Princess Anne.

When she returned she was tired of being reprimanded and pushed around so she decided a day in the West end was in order. The jet black rolls royce pulled up to Jacques Salon and heads turned, only royals had those. She stepped into the salon and a man of the same height stepped up to her.

"My Dear Camilla, What can I do for you?" He kissed her hand and leaned his elbows on the front counter. "One would like a new do, please. Middle of ones shoulders, thinned a bit and bouncy to let ones natural curls flow." She gave a smile and sat in the chair that was awaiting her. "Are you sure? thats almost nine inches!" His eyes widened and he draped a cloth around her and began to brush her long deep brown hair.

"Yes, positive." With that he picked up his shears and began to cut, she closed her eyes and took a slow deep breath. All of her worries flooded to the floor as the hair hit the ground and the weight was being released.

All of her dreams for herself and reassurance was looking her in the face when he turned her around to the mirror. She began to cry when she saw herself, beautiful brown curls at her shoulders and framing her face, she had never felt so beautiful in her entire life.

She knew she would pay for what she done, but she didn't care.

"Camilla Fortescue-Cholmeley-Browne! Whatever has one done to ones hair!" Mater screamed at her as she sat down for breakfast.

"One has a responsibility at The Royal London, Mater. Long hair only gets in ones way, and an unkempt nurse isn't lady like, nor a good nurse." With that her mother didn't say a word for several long agonizing minutes.

"How does one expect to find a husband now? Huh?" Mater was snippet with her and she could see the tension rising in her brow.

"Mummy, One thinks sissy looks quite positively lovely." Her brother piped in.

"Well thank you, William. One must dash, a late nurse is never a keeper." She darted out of the room to gather her things to meet her driver, and arrived at The Royal London ten minutes early, eager and ready for work in her purple lux uniform.

"Nurse Brown, kick those wheels, and clear those trays at once!" Camilla nodded, and did ask she was told. Four bed baths, seven tube meals, three insulin shots and a 10 post-op rounds later, her car had arrived to pick her up. All she could think of was a hot bath and a nice warm cuppa.

"Camilla, meet Patterson Henley-Monroe III. He has asked for your hand, Sir. Rex and I given our blessing." Camilla's eyes widened and she stuttered her words.

"Marr-iage?" She was screaming on the inside, she didn't love him and she would try everything in her power to refuse.

"Camilla go get ready, Patterson would like to take you out." Mater stated, Camilla knew she was defeated.

"Yes, Mater." She stood tall to please her mother, but sulked up the stairs.

She washed up, put on the floor length sapphire dress that awaited her, put on her ivory heels, brushed short ringlets, and grazed a touch of passion red over her lips. She couldn't deny herself, she did feel pretty, mostly because of her haircut. "Guess we're jumping in feet first, old bean." She mumbled to herself, in the mirror. She walked down the stairs to the man awaiting her, he wore a nice suit with a matching sapphire hanky.

"Shall we?"

"We Shall." He held out his arm to her, which she gladly took and out the door they went.

He took her to Vivilore's, and was the perfect gentleman. At first she was uncomfortable, but soon she found him charming, and they had so many things in common.

"You have horses?" She repeated him, almost not believing her ears.

"Yes I do eight actually, all perfect riders. Do you ride?" He asked, reaching across the table and taking up her hand.

"One does, one loves them actually!" The conversation was endless, they decided to be dropped off a mile from the estate to walk hand in hand.

"Am I really doing this? I didn't like the chap three hours ago! Camilla what have you gotten yourself into?" She feared that he would hear her thoughts, as they jumbled around in her head. The next day she almost hurt herself numerous times, from star gazing instead of paying attention.

"Nurse Browne! Kick those wheels propper!" Head matron bellowed at her.

"Yes, Matron!" She replied, and thinking to herself. "Camilla, you're losing your touch."

A/N: I hope you liked the first chapter, fear not another is on it's way soon!


	2. Chapter 2

"Nurse Browne, you are wanted in Head Matron's office, at once." Another nurse sharply spoke, hands by her sides and right proper.

"Yes Nurse." She nodded, and immediately went to the office, at the end of the hall.

She knocked on the door and was prompted to enter.

"Ah, Nurse Browne just the person I wanted. You will be on daily clinics for the next three weeks. Gather your things and you shall transport to the War Clinic at All Saints Parish Hall in Poplar. You will report to the sister in charge, by the name of Mother Jesu. She has came from Chichester to serve the men of war." She handed Camilla a pink slip to be taken to the laundry, for three uniforms and caps.

"Yes Matron, will one go from here each day or shall one go straight there?" She asked, hands intertwined behind her.

"You must be there at eight sharp, no excuses. If you could go straight there that would be splendid." She tapped her papers on her desk and sent her on her way.

"One is looking for Mother Jesu?" Camilla asked, the secretary as she walked in the door.

The woman pointed to a nun dressed in a royal blue Habit and standing in the corner putting up dividers.

"Mother Jesu?" Camilla asked, hesitantly.

"Yes?" She turned around in a hurry, smiling at the young woman before her.

"Nurse Browne, pleased to meet you."

"Oh, yes! You are the nurse from The Royal London Hospital, correct?" Camilla nodded, and Sister Jesu guided her to another nun.

"Nurse Browne this is Sister Julienne of St. Raymond Nonnatus. She is also the Acting Sister in charge of the burns unit, and will be your superior for your stay.

"Ones pleasure." Camilla said, shaking the woman's hand.

"I have experience with minor burns, anything more and you will have to teach me. I pick things up fast though and have an iron stomach." She continued, shrugging her shoulders. "Perfect! You will do just fine Nurse Browne."

Sister Julienne guided Camilla around before clinic started listing off and showing her how and what to do. How to unroll the burn wraps and apply the cream to them to prevent sticking. "Nurse you will have to administer injection too. Are you capable?" Sister Julienne asked. "Yes Ma'am, I am well trained." Sister Julienne nodded her head, and handed her a box with antibiotics and

"The men will start to file in about half past, if there is anything you need I suggest you get it now Nurse." Camilla nodded, but there was nothing she had needed, so she waited.

"Doors Opening!" Mother Jesu yelled, so everyone heard. Everyone took their places, and awaited patient files to be handed to them. "_Shoulders back, feet together, arms by your sides, and head up." _Camilla was remembering what she was taught at The London.

She was handed a file with the name of Peter Noakes written on it, she began to read the notes of her patient.

_Patient is suffering burns to the right shoulder, right leg, and right torso. Possible start of infection, 15,000 units of Penicillin once a day for 7 days. Aloe soaked gauze applied every other day. Moderate concussion. Patient complains of pain and tiredness. _

"Peter Noakes!" Camilla called out, as she saw a young man and an older woman helping him.

"Ere He is Nurse, 'ome on son." Irene helped her son to his feet, she noted a look of annoyance on his face. After helping him up she proceeded to sit back down and read her book.

"Hello Mr. Noakes, I'm Camilla, one will be your nurse for the next three weeks." She told him as he sat on the examination cot behind the curtain.

She sat the file down and began to take his pulse.

"Now has one had any symptoms since one was discharged?" She asked, looking at her watch.

"Blimey! Just a touch ov 'ead an' burn pain. Nuff said, yeah?" He noticed that funny way she talked and held back a chuckle.

"Excuse me? One is ever so lost." She looked up and him, with utter confusion soaring across her face.

"I'm only messin' with ya, a little bit of head pain and the burns hurt." He replied, with a ornery grin.

"Oh, are you taking anything? By the way one has heard of the cockney lingo, but I've never heard such a thing till now."

"Get used to it thats the language of Poplar, and they didn't give me anything." He shrugged his shoulders and went on, like he was used to it.

"Well now that ones changed the dressings, one can discuss the pain. I am going to give you a lox of Doan's Anti Pains, take one every 4 hours as you need. Go as sparingly as you can, they can cause upset and cause ulcers." She handed him a small lox bottle, a pill and a small cup of water.

"Take one now and another when you need it.'' She grabbed her notes and wrote down every detail to perfection, something she prided herself in.

_Patient given Doan's Anti Pain pills, one every four hours as needed._

_Wounds checked and Burns treated with Aloe and Medicated Burn cream. _

_Burns beginning to heal, progress made._

_Concussion, _

_Slight headache, Faded Dizziness, Fatigue. _

_Symptoms dissipating, Pupils dilated to normal, Temple bruising faded._

_Vitals, Normal, Good._

_Blood Pressure, Normal, 117/72._

_Pulse, 73, BPM._

_Respiratory Rate, 19, Per Minute. _

"Mr. Noakes you are set to go, one will see you in two days time." Camilla said, resting her hands behind her back as she lead him out.

"Thank you Nurse, you have been the most kind out of everyone to me." He stopped for a minute to thank her, and joined his mother to walk out.

After clinic Camilla was exhausted, folding sheets and nappies before retiring from work for the day.

"Guess who?" Two hands wrapped over her eyes from behind. Her shoulders relaxed and she turned around.

"Patterson! Whatever is one doing here?" She asked, seeing the bouquet of flowers now in front of her.

"Long days deserve to be rewarded, my dear." He replied, giving her a peck on the cheek, and causing her to turn a scarlet red.

"Walk me home?" She asked, letting her mind wander away.

"_Camilla, whatever is one getting one into? Don't set your heart, it will only get broken." _

The two skipped the car ride, and walked back, allowing themselves to be hand in hand.

Tomorrow was a new day, but for now this one was upon them, and to her it was heavenly.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Big thanks to EleanorKate for help on this one! **

"So where are we going?" Camilla asked, not able to contain herself any longer.

"Oh alright, we are going on a picnic in the culbert valley." Patterson said, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her close. His hand slid down landed on her back where one of the pink scars from Roedean lay; making her jump slightly out of shock at the incursion and the painful memories associated to a time and place where she had not allowed anyone to touch in so many years. In an attempt to move the hand responsible for the sudden nervousness that skipped merrily unwanted against her ribs, she turned to face him and placed her hands on his chest, intent on avoidance, distraction and the fear of repulsion at what she may, one day, see when he set eyes on her skin. Camilla gave him a peck on the cheek and snatching the picnic basket from him, ran ahead of him, hoping he had not sensed her anxiety from such a simple, perhaps affectionate, gesture and wondered why.

When they found the perfect spot under a shade tree they laid out their blanket, and started to unpack the baskets contents. A bottle of luxurious red wine, smoked salmon finger sandwiches, a nib of strawberries, and cheesecake. She had never had red wine before, and the first sip danced on her tongue sweet and nutty with a slight burn and a light body. "_Whatever is this heaven?''_ She thought to herself. The two sat after eating thoroughly enjoying their wine, and taking in the beautiful scenery on her day off.

"Patterson?" She asked, quiet and nervously.

"What is it Camilla?" He took up her hand and turned to face her.

"Mater is at ones throat about this whole marriage thing… I guess what one is trying to say is, can we just _date_ and get to _know_ each other first?" She was shaky and praying that he wouldn't get mad or bolt.

"Camilla one didn't even ask! One asked to take you out and father asked your hand for me, One didn't want to say anything and get ones hopes up like the other girls." His response caused her to relax and take in a deep relaxing breath.

"I'm glad… For once one would like to get to know the man my mother wants me to marry."

"And I my wife!" The two chuckled, knocking into each others shoulders and noting that the sun was setting.

"I guess one should be returning you soon." He patted her knee and stood up, reaching out a hand to help her up.

"Yes, work tomorrow at eight sharp, but one always arrives at least ten minutes early." The more she talked the more he noticed how whenever she was happy she would crinkle her nose, letting her dimples show.

They arrived at the the gates of the Browne estate, opening her door for her she stepped out and took his hand in hers, giving it a squeeze and thanking him for returning her safe.

Another week went on, full of laughter happiness and wonderful moments, he walked her to the center and gave her a peck on the cheek before she walked in.

It was two days before he saw her again, and he decided to surprised her and walk her to work.

"Patterson, you have made me very happy. I've been thinking, and I would be proud to marry you, that is if you want to." She said leaning in and whispering, then letting go of this hand and walking in. The words played in his favor, for just exactly what he had planned for the following day.

The next day when she returned to work, she gathering her lunch kit she sat outside the hall to eat, when a man approached her. He fell to one knee and removed a box from his jacket pocket.

"Camilla, will you marry me?" His tone was soft and he tipped her chin up to look at him. She almost choked on her sandwich from the shock of his words, her eyes grew wide and she felt as though her heart stopped. In on big gulp she swallowed and she teared up.

"Yes, Yes I will!" He placed the thin gold band on her finger, and pulled her tight to a hug.

Everything was perfect in her eyes, she soon had to return to her duties, but the smile beamed across her face and never left.

"Peter ones wounds are healing perfectly! Only one more clinic visit, and you should be fine one ones own." She finished, assessing him and began to stare at her ring.

"I'm so sick of being treated like i'm six, I'll be twenty soon, you'd think mum would treat me like it." She had to admit, over the past three weeks she was...Happy. She liked Peter, but she knew it would never happen. She was engaged now, and Mater would never have it.

"Am I okay to work?" He continued, he had to get a job sooner rather than later, sitting around was starting to get to him.

"Yes one is, where is one thinking?" She asked, curious and wishing someone in the heavens would figure out a way for both worlds to happen.

"I can train to be a constable, I have done all the reading, only the physical is left."

"I truly wish one the best, Peter." They had become comfortable over the last three weeks with first names.

"Thank you." With that he left and a car waited for her outside.

She bumped into Peter a week later, he was dressed in a black uniform with a single stripe on it. The two conversed for a few minutes before Patterson spotted them and stepped in. He was overbearing, jealous, and protective of her, as if she was only his.

"Camilla come along now." It wasn't an option and Peter didn't like his tone or the way he grabbed her arm. "_That's no way to treat a lady, 'Always treat em good son.' always."_ Peter thought to himself remembering his father's words from when he was younger.

"_Don't be a fool Pete, you can't have her."_


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: This chapter is an M for strong nature and abusive behavior. **

Patterson had began to pay Camilla less attention than he used to, he took up late nights, and the sport of drinking. Cursing and slurring was his bag, and he didn't care what people thought. The smell of alcohol and Henley smoke followed him, and Camilla wouldn't stand it. Smoking wasn't her thing, but she knew saying something might get her in trouble.

She decided a walk would be wonderful on such a beautiful night, taking in the fresh air and running into Patterson, drunk and in a demanding mood.

"Come with me you minx!" He commanded, taking her by the wrist into a dark ally.

"Patterson you're hurting me, please!" He pushed her against a wall and began to kiss her neck, pinning her arms down, above her head.

"Stop, please!" Her tone raised and fear riddled in her voice.

"You know you want it, shh. Hold still. You belong to me!" He pressed himself against her, he was much stronger and her fighting was worthless. She wriggled a hand free and pushed him away with all her might.

"You hateful whore, you are mine whether you like it or not!" He hit her, knocking her to the ground. She could feel her face burning, tears welling in her eyes, and her face already swelling from the blow.

"Now get up and do as you are told." He finished off the flask in his pocket, and stepped to her again.

"No." She remained on the ground, barely able to see and now unable to keep her tears back.

"I'm not, _yours_!" With one swift move she took off the thin gold band and threw it at him. His immediate response was to screaming growl, kick her and step on her hand. She hit her head on wall behind her and it left her unconscious.

"You're right who would want you!" He kicked her again, and turned to leave when Peter stopped him.

"Thats enough!" He blew his whistle three times signaling for back up and putting up a good fight cuffed him.

"You are under arrest for third degree assault and battery to a woman." Two other officers appeared and took over, and Peter rushed to Camilla. He took her up in his arms and with every bit of might he had he ran, heading straight for Nonnatus house, knowing Doctor Turner would be there. His eyes began to tear and he was filled with fear, remembering only months before picking up his best mate and running from the bombs. By the time he got private Johnson to safety he was gone, this made him run all the faster holding her even closer to him.

He banged on the doors and rang the bell a million times, Sister Julienne answered and knew something was amiss.

"Come in! Take her to the third door on the left!" He rushed as fast as possible, his heart was beating as though she was the only person he had ever loved.

"Doctor Turner!" Sister Julienne yelled, for nun that didn't raise her voice to anything, she woke many others. Sister Evangelina and Sister Monica Joan ran down the stairs wondering why they were woken as they were.

Peter took only one step back never taking his eyes off her.

"Sister I need my bag, a suture kit, and some spirit. Hurry." He took a lighter from his pocket and flicked it, opening her eyelids and checking them looking for uneven dilation.

"Whatever she hit her head on it wasn't enough for a concussion but enough to need stitches." He received the things he asked for from the sister and began to look at her in more detail. Her hands began to shake and his tone changed.

"She's going into shock! Hot water bottles and blankets now!" They all began rushing, Sister Evangelina taking off her shoes and handing Peter blankets.

"Help me tuck her in tight!" Sister Julienne returned with four hot water bottles packing them in around the shaking woman. Doctor turner had cleaned and placed the stitches in her head, above her eyebrow, her arm and her shoulder.

"What is her name?" He asked, looking at the the young officer who was knelt down and holding her hand.

"Camilla Browne sir, she lives in the Browne estate. Can someone call please?" Sister Monica Joan nodded and walked out of the room in a rush, contacting the worried parents.

"Is she alright? What happened?" Sir Brown asked, panicked and grasping his desk, turning his knuckles white.

"I don't know details, but she will have to stay here for a while, moving her could be detrimental." They hung up and within half an hour Sir and Lady Browne arrived.

"They stepped into the room to see their daughter black and blue, she had stitches, a busted lip and was tightly wrapped up in blankets with nothing but a hand exposed taken up and wrapped in Peters. His was sitting on a chair by her, head bowed and praying for her to wake up.

"Who are you?" Lady Browne asked, walking in behind Sister Monica Joan. Not responding Doctor Turner spoke for him.

"He is the man who brought her to us. He quite possibly saved her life." The Browne's stood stock still in the room.

"You may leave now, we will take care of her." Sir Browne quipped.

"No. I wont leave her. Not again." His spoke very monotone, but bold. He had no intention of leaving her. Minutes before he had asked Sister Evangelina to call the station and tell them he would not be returning for some time.

Sister Evangelina had also telephoned the mother house, asking Mother Jesu to come immediately. She arrived at five am the next morning, being rushed into Sister Julienne's office with the Browne's.

She had been informed of the situation and until she arrived nothing had been said to them about their daughter. Chief Mason arrived and talked to Peter who gave his report. He didn't leave her while talking and he didn't sleep that night. Sir and Lady Browne had been given a guest room to stay in for the night and waited for the Chief to return and tell them what had happened. It was a long night waiting for signs of improvement, but there was none, nothing happened but the shallow rise and fall of her chest that Peter watched and counted.

"Mr. and Mrs. Browne please sit. Your daughter has suffered serious injury and is in critical care, the man who did this is in police custody, he goes by the name of Patterson Henley-Monroe III. Do you know of him?" Lady Browne gasped, utter shock and disbelief of it. Sir Browne lowered his head. "_What have I done…"_ He thought to himself.

"Is one positive it was him?" Lady Browne asked, keeping her head low and not letting eyes meet.

"Yes, we have confirmed it. He was covered in alcohol and highly intoxicated, slurring and he also has charges for assaulting one of my officers." Chief Mason replied, trying to be as calm and gentle as he could.

"Will she be okay?" Sir Browne asked, lifting his head and sighing.

"As of right now, she is stable. If she will wake up, we don't know. She is still not in any position to be moved though. An officer must be on protective guard though, and that will be Constable Noakes." Sister Julienne replied, frowning and hoping that the nurse she had taken under her wing would be okay.

All they could do now was to wait, wait for any sign any movement, anything at all.


End file.
